silence

I wander why am i always like this everytime i had problems. for me better to keep my mouth shut rather than sharing my problems to other people. this time i had a lot of problems, like in my school stuffs, rel. with other people, my sister, my attitude. i dont wan to lose faith, i dont want to blame other people, but honestly now i dont understand my feelings. tsk. its like im irritated. waaaaa! hahay, .... and sad to say my brain now isn't working. so i better take a rest. thanks for listening. 

can i say "IM HAPPY?" OR "NOT?"

yesterday, ive done my part i think. i told him through text because i dont know how to handle it seriously! i told him all my feelings. i share it to my mom and friends. thats why now it is not heavy inside.


 haay! i thought
he change but sad to say it'll worst. i know i am not perfect and i can't give all that he needed but if he did not want me anymore why he's always saying that "HE LOVE ME?" fuck! i wondered why am i always like this. tsk! :( 

"FEBRUARY 28, 2011" this is the date i was totally f***ed up! tsk.

that day i feel dumb. i dont know what am i gonna do. i feel like im a bad person because i experienced this kind of pain. im trying to question my friends about my performance to them but they said im a great person,IM A GOOD friend, but how come i can feel this stupid pain? how come im always to be like this?   how come i soo love the person but they leave me hanging?how come i change for the better but still it doesn't work? how come i fight him but it end to be like this? how come?? CAN ANYBODY ANSWER ALL THIS QUESTIONS? because swear i don't know how can i manage it! i know it's my fault, i expect everything from him. why do boys always say that he love you, they dont want you to get hurt but in fact their action represent an immoral act! they always say lines that may encourage you to love them again but sad to say its all "LIES" . i may not be a good person in some aspects but im trying to respect all the people around me. but it is enough! haaayy! i dont know what to do im in the stage of depression now but im trying to help myself not to express it because i know theyre going to ask me what's wrong and i dont want to talk about it! waaaaaa! hahay! :(